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That rage and the hurt and confusion and all the other stuff you’re feeling will eat away at you until you’re empty, and then not only will you have nothing left to give your marriage, but you’ll have nothing for your children either. Please go to therapy and deal with this ugliness bravely. And don’t make any decision about whether to stay with your husband or not until you’ve worked through the stages of grief, including getting angry at him. And the feeling of security and confidence you think you have when you’re with your husband, weeks after learning he screwed your mom while you were asleep in the other room, nine months pregnant with his baby, is false.And that’s not something you can even begin to rebuild trust and a relationship on.She explained that her current boyfriend was accusing her of passing on the disease and was threatening to take her to court because she had kept it hidden. I have something, an STD.” I asked him who he had been with besides me; he said, “You already know who!

He’s always been a GREAT husband, father, and best friend, and he says he will spend an eternity apologizing and making it right.

Of the few times we’ve spent together alone in the last week or so, I feel great, safe, and confident.

Don’t rush back into his arms and don’t make the mistake of sweeping this under the rug and moving forward like nothing happened because you think that’s easier and less painful and will keep your family intact.

Living in denial won’t really keep your family intact. It won’t get rid of the rage inside you that needs some place to go. And until you accept that he is just as responsible for having sex with your mother as she is for having sex with him, you aren’t ready to move forward.

My mother has been living with us for the past year and a half.

My husband didn’t love the idea, but I convinced him it was only for a short time.

Clearly, your marriage suffered a lack of communication and respect long before your husband had sex with your mother. When you say you feel great, safe, and confident in his company and angry when you’re alone, you sound desperate to aim the fury anywhere other than where it belongs: directed at the two people who betrayed you (including your husband! You’ve had only a few weeks to start processing this.

I’ll repeat that again: YOUR HUSBAND HAD SEX WITH YOUR MOTHER. It’s going to take a long, long time to truly wrap your head around what’s happened.

In the meantime, you have two children who need your attention.

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