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When guys insist that any woman could go out and get laid if she wanted, this actually makes it make the first move.

She may use proximity and body language to try to catch his attention and signal that she wants to talk to him, she makes an observation about something or finds an excuse to talk with him about, say, a class they have in common, as a way of breaking the ice. these are many of the ways men approach Most forms of indirect openers and indirect “game” from PUA circles are variations of techniques that women have used to signal interest without being too overt.

But the fact of the matter is, more men make the approach than women do. Guys often get too caught up in the idea of “woman as gatekeeper”, where women “control” the market on sex because they want it less than men do and therefore can afford to be pickier.

Because women generally don’t approach men, there will be plenty of men who will assume that the woman has aggressive than they might be otherwise.

Amongst the less socially experienced, there are plenty of well-intentioned men who will assume that a woman who made the approach is in love with them – or something very close to it – and up attaching themselves onto her like a lost gosling..

The traditional gender roles of man-as-aggressor are continually reinforced by our culture and society; witness the slut-shaming that Miley Cyrus gets for being an active – rather than passive – sexual performer.

Even in this day and age, the sexually-aggressive woman is a figure of ridicule (especially if she’s played by Rebel Wilson rather than Kim Cattrall) .

have the specter of generations of socialization and gender roles that says “men don’t like girls who are too forward” and “if you make the first move, they’ll think you’re a slut” being dropped on top of that like a 400 lb weight on a balloon full of shit.

And recognizing that fact just makes it even But as it turns out, women have a good reason to be extra nervous about flaunting gender roles because…

guys, especially ones who are more socially inexperienced or who deal with acute approach anxiety, regularly lament the fact that men are expected to do all the hard work when it comes to trying to start a relationship and wish women would help out by being willing to make the first move.

someone by unfairly labeling him “creepy” and insist that women need to be more considerate of the feelings of the men they’re rejecting… Women frequently message guys they’re interested in when it comes to online dating; it just seems less significant compared to the many men who will shotgun out messages.

maybe even stopping to give him lessons in how to get her to like him so he can do better next time. Other times they get brushed off by the men because they’re not the women those men that someone is trying to make the first move.

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